This is an English translation of the article „Makaleitin mikla„. It is translated by request because the Google translate version of it is horrible. It can provide an insight to my preferences for future spouses from an Aspie point of view.
I am 28 years old now and have yet to enter a relationship but then people start to suspect I set my standards too high when it comes to the attributes of my spouse. Some also suspect that I’m gay but I don’t think I am. However, I think there’s a different reason: My isolation as a child which impaired my abilities to communicate socially to this day. The few who I’ve been in contact with regularly (and are not my relatives) are usually of the male gender which causes inexperience when talking to females. Even if I see a female I’m attracted to does not automatically mean that I have the courage or ability to „get her“. It also doesn’t help that sometimes I have difficulties determining where people are located in the friend pyramid.
My mother is even trying to plug me to a relationship by mentioning at regular intervals that I’m single, but not so often it’s annoyingly irritating. My siblings have also tried to introduce me to women but without success. The main reason things haven’t worked out when people play the relationship manager role is because they don’t know what I’m looking for. To give people a better understanding of what I’m seeking, I decided to make a list over the qualities I’m looking for in potential spouses (not ordered by priority).
Look like a female.
Not look like a monster.
Preferably on my age range or younger. But I’m open to older females.
Regular body caring (cleans herself, and so on).
Fine and soft skin.
Not very far from ideal weight. Can differ by 10-15 kg (22-33 lbs).
Would be ideal if she had some breasts. But not a requirement.
Personality / behaviour:
Smart (at least not stupid).
Fairly black humour. Few or no topics so holy that they cannot be joked about.
Preferably doesn’t hold any dogmas.
Understanding / Not too quick to judge.
Happy with life. That is, not a robot.
Not a snob.
Open. Can talk about things regarding herself, like feelings.
Doesn’t just think about herself.
Has sexual needs.
Can take criticism.
Good self-esteem. Secure with herself and won’t be jealous over nothing.
Strong sense of justice. Tries to be honest in what she does.
Courage to express her own opinions.
Not submissive. That is, independant thinker and do-er.
Not very codependant.
And of course I’m ready to lower my demands for any of those qualities if she is overall good. Also, everything is good in moderation because, for example, it’s not good to be a cleaning freak or Ms. Everything-is-positive.